Elicit Thoughts

26th December

2010-12-27T21:14:00.000-08:00

Felt extremely lonely and low..

2010-12-24T23:20:00.000-08:00

Strangely, I forgot how to post…and, I don’t even have a title in my head for what I’d be posting!!! I was thinking how mad I was about Blogging!

I loved my blogs "Elicit Thoughts" and "Mwah-3" and was crazy about writing. But, everything has changed now……...they hardly exist for me these days!

This is the way life is. Sometime in life we are madly into something, madly in love with something and someone changes those feelings in you…for bad..!

Dunno what to write next…..Merry Christmas... :)

3 years of knowing my love

2010-05-09T23:42:00.000-07:00

Hey ET. Visiting you after so long... Been busy; in loving your creator; Ria. First loving her. And then fighting with her. And now we have parted ways for good. Still, she's still with me. In my mind. Always will be. Can't get her out of there even if I wanted to. We had our good days and bad days. And even though bad days grew on us and we had to split, I don't want to remember all those bad blood between us. Whenever I remember her, which is effectively 24x7, I remember only the good things. And miss her.

I still remember this very day, 3 years ago. It was past 6 PM and I was bored in office. So, was randomly browsing through blogger blogs. And I landed on you. You were a simple black colored blog back then. I read couple of poems and liked them. Saw that they were written by someone named Ria Shah. Ahh, I had liked that name instantly. Dropped a comment there. "You have a good flare for writing. Keep it up". And I moved on. And you know what? Within sometime, Ria pinged me from my blog. "Do I know you"? Apparently, she had thought me to be someone she knew. Some other Vicky. And when she came to know that I was someone else, she was kinda angry - "how can you drop a comment - kisi k bhi blog mei..!!!". Haha. She didn't knew k blogs are for that only; getting views and comments from unknown people. Readers at large. That helps us connect with like minded people. And sometimes, we find our soul-mates that way. I found her. My Ria. But hadn't know that yet.

We exchanged some orkut scraps that day. And I found out that she was talking about me with her friend on Orkut. Oh, wasn't I excited. I eavesdropped and read both sides of the conversation. She was miffed that most of my posts were copies and not original work. But then there was this scrap that "He's a nice guy". Very normal thing to say, indeed. But I liked that a lot. Was feeling very good. Still didn't know that that was the start of a long beautiful relation.

When I look back now at that evening, I just feel so lucky. This is the day Ria came into my life. 10th May. Even though we had our big fight last month and we are not talking to each other now; I don't regret she coming into my life. In fact, I cherish it. She made my life beautiful and gave me love. She's the 1st girl who loved me. Every single moment spent with her is like one lifetime for me.

Here's to the 3rd anniversary of two strangers colliding and starting a VicRia.

Bishop and the Ass

2009-07-21T13:15:00.000-07:00

The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won.
The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again, and it won again.

The local paper read:

PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT.

The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the pastor not to enter the donkey in another race.

The next day, the local paper headline read:

BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S ASS.

This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the pastor to get rid of the donkey.

The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent.

The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day:

NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.

The bishop fainted.

He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for $10.

The next day the paper read:

NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.

This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild.

The next day the headlines read:

NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.
The bishop was buried the next day.

The moral of the story is . . . being concerned about public opinion can bring you much grief and misery . .. even shorten your life.

So be yourself and enjoy life.

Stop worrying about everyone else's ass and you'll be a lot happier and live longer!

Ways girls turn down romantic guys

2008-04-28T13:40:00.000-07:00

HE: I'm a photographer. I've been looking for a face like yours!
SHE: I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours!!!

HE: Hi! didn't we go on a date once? or was it twice?
SHE: Must've been once.i never make the same mistake twice!!!

HE: May I have the pleasure of this dance?
SHE: No, I'd like to have some pleasure too!!!

HE: How did you get to be so beautiful?
SHE: I must've been given your share!!!

HE: Is it hot in here or is it just you?
SHE: It's hot!!!

HE: I'd go to the ends of the world for you!
SHE: Okay, but would you stay there?

HE: Will you come out with me this Saturday?
SHE: Sorry! I'm having a headache this weekend!!!

HE: Your face must turn a few heads!
SHE: And your face must turn a few stomachs!!!

HE: Go on ,don't be shy.Ask me out!
SHE: Okay, get out!!!

HE: I think I could make you very happy
SHE: Why,are you leaving?

HE: What would you say if I asked u to marry me?
SHE: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time!!!

HE: Can I have your name?
SHE: why,don't you already have one?

HE: Shall we go and see a film?
SHE: I've already seen it!!!

HE: Do you think it was fate which brought us together?
SHE: Nah,it was plain bad luck!!!

HE: You know I can't seem to get your face out of my mind.
SHE: Wow really, I have a similar problem I cant seem to get you out of my face!!!

HE: When I look at your face, I can't hold my self down..
SHE: And when I look at your face I can't seem to keep my food down!

HE: You know when they made u they must have broken the mold.
SHE: Yeah and when they were making you must have leaked out of your mold!!

HE: Roses are red, Violets are blue, could there be anyone as beautiful as you?
SHE: Roses are red, Violets are blue, i'm sure there's no-one as ugly as you!

HE: Do you have a phone number I can reach you on?
She: Sorry, telephones are against my religion!!!

HE: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
SHE: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore.

HE: Is this seat empty?
SHE: Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.

HE: I'd like to call you. What's your number?
SHE: It's in the phone book.
HE: But I don't know your name.
SHE: That's in the phone book too.

HE: Hey, baby, what's your sign?
SHE: Do not Enter

HE: I know how to please a woman.
SHE: Then please leave me alone.

HE: I want to give myself to you.
SHE: Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts.

HE: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy
SHE: Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

HE: Your body is like a temple
SHE: Sorry, there are no services today.

HE: I hope you didn't hurt yourself when fell to earth from heaven.
SHE: No, but it looks like you landed on your face!

आज तक - Breaking News

2008-04-21T11:55:00.000-07:00

'Aaj tak' have done it once again. First to give us this breaking news, something that nobody else got a hint of. It's amazing how they do it. Hats off to their professionalism. It is called the best news channel to bring latest news to the viewers 'first of all'. Aaj Tak - 'sabse tez [fastest]'. And oh, it's 'Des Ka sarwa-sresth news channel' [best news channel of the country]. What less else can you expect from them?

Ohh, forgot to tell you the news. Check the TV grabs below -

Where else can you get news of such high national interest, but Aaj Tak. Even the mix of two news items is superb. Check the bottom of 2nd pick. 'Chhajje pe phasi billi' 'unhe kshetravadi vivado mei na ghasite' - which translates to - "Cat stuck on roof - don't drag him in regional dispute". Wow. Now, who wants to drag the kitty in such a dispute. That's really worth national attention. Go figure.

The Men Rules

2008-03-03T03:36:00.000-08:00

Ria is always complaining that I never write anything for her blog. She has tried everything; Request, cajoling, emotional blackmailing to make me write. But I simply couldn't find the time. But now I guess the little gal deserves some treat. So, here's my post after a pretty long time. Hope you all enjoy and it brings a big colgate smile on her face.

The Man Rules

At last a guy has taken the time to write these all down. We always hear " the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really .

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball
or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

When Laloo apllied to Microsoft for job

2008-02-04T03:57:00.000-08:00

Off late, there's a real funny joke doing the rounds of internet. Can't stop laughing after reading it. Here - have your laugh too -

Laloo Prasad sent his Bio Data to apply for a post in Microsoft Corporation, USA. A few days later he got this reply:

Dear Mr. Laloo Prasad,

You do not meet our requirements. Please do not send any further correspondence.
No phone call shall be entertained.

Thanks
Bill Gates.

Laloo Prasad jumped with joy on receiving this reply. He arranged a press conference : "भाइयों और बेहेनो, आपको जान कर खुशी होगी की हमको अमरीका में नौकरी मिल गयी है. "
Everyone was delighted. Laloo Prasad continued...... "अब हम आप सब को अपना appointment Letter पड़कर सुनाऊंगा. पर letter अंग्रजी में है. इसलिए साथ-साथ हिन्दी में translate भी करूंगा.

Dear Mr. Laloo Prasad ----- प्यारे लालू प्रसाद भइया, [Dear Bro Laloo Prasad]
You do not meet -----आप तो मिलते ही नही हो [Where have you been?]
our requirement ----- हमको तो ज़रूरत है.[We Need You]
Please do not send any further correspondence ----- अब लैटर भेटर भेजने का कौनो ज़रूरत नाही. [Absolutely no need to send letters]
No phone call ----- फूनवा का भी ज़रूरत नाही है. [Not need to make phone call]
shall be entertained ----- बहुत खातिर की जायेगी. [You'll be highly taken care of]
Thanks ----- आपका बहुत बहुत धन्यवाद. [Thank you very very much]
Bill Gates. ---- तोहार बिलवा. [Yours' Truly, Bill]

Now try to keep yourself from laughing your lungs out. :D

Modern human math

2007-12-11T02:16:00.000-08:00

People in my office are getting innovative these days. ;) Found the following post in the intranet today. Guess this is also some fwd but really a great one. Check it out -

Modern Maths
*************

Equation 1

Human = eat + sleep + work + enjoy

Donkey = eat + sleep


Therefore,
Human = Donkey + work + enjoy

Human - enjoy = Donkey + work


In other words,
Human that don't know enjoy = Donkey that work

Equation 2

Men = eat + sleep + earn money

Donkeys = eat + sleep


Therefore, 
Men = Donkeys + earn money

Men - earn money = Donkeys


In other words,
Men that don't earn money = Donkeys

Equation 3

Women = eat + sleep + spend

Donkeys = eat + sleep


Therefore, 
Women = Donkeys + spend
Women - spend = Donkeys


In other words,

Women that don't spend = Donkeys

To Conclude:

Men earn money not to let women become Donkeys!

Women spend not to let men become Donkeys!


Man + Woman = 2 Donkeys!

And the Donkeys lived happily ever after!

Today's headlines...

2007-12-10T10:36:00.000-08:00

I followed up on the news after a long time and all I get is the following:
10 year old children are used in place of oxen to plough farm lands as they say tractors cant be used here and it is not possible to get oxen. So all they get is 10 yr old children?
And when the Minister for Child Welfare is posed with the situation and is asked questions he says "what's wrong if the children do some work for their living?"
If the Minister of Child Welfare speaks as such, I can only imagine the work he's been doing for the welfare of children in the country!
How can people be so irresponsible!
Another example of extreme sense of responsibility was shown by Doctors in a hospital in Gurgaon who turned away a woman who was about to deliver, stating that her case was too complicated and the consequence was that she delivered in the parking lot and the baby died for the lack of care and treatment.
Do such Doctors even deserve a license to practice? Are they suitably employed?
Are such Doctors and Ministers going to help us in our dreams of becoming a prosperous country?
The obvious answer is HELL NO.
We can be upbeat about the stock markets, about the exponentially growing IT exports and blah blah blah. But what about the other undisclosed face of the country where babies dont earn the right to live because they belong to poor parents, where 10 yr olds plough fields in lieu of oxen 10 hrs a day and are not even allowed to complain?
Damn this hurts me.

Photography Weekend!

2007-12-09T06:55:00.001-08:00

So many plans of doing so many things, reading and finishing so many things and all washed by a single object of passion!
The Camera!
Damn!
My old college buddy visited me this weekend and he carried with himself his new Camera which is the kind I find interesting! So I just could let the opportunity slip away and forgot about all plans and just clicked and clicked in the last two days!
Well, some of them came out really well and I've got to work on them and a couple of them are here for you to see! :)
You can see a better quality version of these pictures in my Flickr photostream.
Sorry about the advertising but it takes too long to upload decent quality pictures on Blogger. :(

I hope you like the pictures.
There are more in the making. Keep a watch on my Flickr and you can see the newer ones.

end of my blogging

2007-12-03T09:16:00.000-08:00

Noooooooo...... It's not me. I took a short break from blogging, but surely I'm not quitting blogging. But someone is considering it. Seems blogger is giving tough time to some people in North India. Ria is still unable to access blogger on her PC. So, here's one more post from her via ME.

Its 4 days now and I've no idea on what's happening on my blog, how it looks; I can't manage my posts and yes I certainly can't post anything. I can't comment and another problem is that I can't have a look at anyone else's blog !! :@ The only pathetic reason behind this is my blog INVINCIBLE in not loading on my PC!!! I can log in, but the moment I click on any of the blogs, it shows "the page cannot be displayed". :(

I desperately wanted to post something on Saturday but wow, I couldn't! Look at my predicament! But yes, all thanks to Bikram, he posted on my behalf with a "disclaimer"! :)

My biggest fear for the time being is, what if none of my blogs ever load on my PC, what will I do??? Will I've to quit blogging! The most horrid problem amidst all this is, all the other sites are loading, blogger too actually but not my blog and yes not other blogs either! I tried everything I could, but awfully failed. :k

All these problems have forced me to think, am I such a blog fanatic?? :o Its only 4 days now and not forty! How can I be so obsessed with blogging or any other damn thing on earth!

Not cool Ria!!! I'm really skeptical whether I'll ever get to blog or not! Let me keep my fingers crossed! Quite obviously I want to post this, that's the reason am writing it, and since I can't do the needful, I guess Bikram will do it! :$ I feel so bad to bother him, but I hardly have any other choice left. He can't always post on my behalf with a disclaimer every time, it's not done.

Apparently, I can't go to cyber every now and then just for the sake of blogging! I've decided, if this continues for few more days, I'll quit blogging. No option here! :x

I'm going ethnic

2007-11-30T06:46:00.001-08:00

Alright, a very big DISCLAIMER at the very beginning. This post is not written by me, but by Ria. Thank god blogger was not loading on her PC, so she pinged me on GTalk after a long LONG time, asking - "What do I do?". So, here I am, posting on behalf of her.

AUTHOR : RIA SHAH

Normally, I am a jeans and a T- shirt girl, I want to feel comfortable 24/7. I am most obviously known for not wearing saris and stuff of that sort! I've seen women wearing saris and looking really gorgeous! But one thing I always thought was, how on earth do they carry it and how easily do they handle these jhamelas , :# don't they feel bulky!

So, to identify with this sari mania, I thought why not wear it! But in excitement I forgot that I don't even know how to drape it!!!!! :$ Poor…poor me! As we all know, RIA is RIA, I went ahead and draped it (we can always try) , guess what happened guys?? Yeah, you are right DISASTER. Well, it happens, so what if I failed, I can always take someone's help! I went to my sis in law , and was 'happily' prepared for another disaster, but I was shockingly pleased to see that it looked elegant; ok now, I looked pretty too. :) But one problem was, I felt bulky and weary within minutes.

Since I know now, that even I can wear sari and 'try' to carry it well, am all set to stun my friends and family! On Sunday is my cousin's wedding party, am all set to wear it and look gorgeous too!! ;) I'm very much smitten by my mom's saris, so have quietly picked one, without her knowledge (obviously I want to surprise her) and made all the preparations of wearing it! Can't wait now……

Thanks for the warm Welcome!

2007-10-29T12:00:00.000-07:00

Well Well Well!
I see that my reputation precedes me!
Ria already has announced about my avid blogging habits but I must say it was very generous of her to shower upon me some pretty words of praise...specially about my pictures! :)
I love it when someone calls my pictures good.
And that's me for you to see!

And let me do a little bit of advertising before I proceed...my pictures can be seen
here-
http://corridor.amvona.com/zombiezparadize

I am badly in need of buying an SLR camera so any donations are welcome!! :D

Living upto my reputation, I wont write much today...got truckloads of work to finish..but
I would definitely say "Thank you so much Ria" for extending such a warm welcome.
And I assure you, that you will see some beautiful pictures in your blog alongside more than occasional write ups! Just wait and watch!

And how on Earth would a post from me be complete without my trademark " :) "
What say Ria?

Two week update

2007-10-26T11:07:00.000-07:00

Hmmmm. That's quite a flattering welcome Ria gave us. :$ She's so sweet. Would like to write something good here, that'll make all of you seat up and take notice. But can't really think of something right now, as I'm in office. So, instead - check my updates of past two weeks -

Links under Invincible will open in this window only. All other links will open in a new window.

G@P v4.1 [RSS Feed | Email Updates ]

In India - the definition of Majority and Minority is literally opposite to their conventional meaning. Here 85% majority craves for the indulgence of the 15% minority. Minority is showered with perks while the so called majority is struggling to live. Who actually is in danger? Think about it - Secularism : Majority & Minority

Can you justify why Boxing and WWE are called a sport? Is there any sporting attitude involved? The fighters are in the ring to kill each other. Have you ever seen a boxing or WWE fight ending with the two sides shaking hands? - Boxing : is it a game?

One unusual weekend in Bangalore. Durga Puja, Bourne, weird cooking, funny snaps, Free stuff; catch all the action here - Weekend in Bangalore

Have you ever hated someone so much so that you start hating everything around him / her; to the extent of hating yourself when he / she is around you? This is height of hatred - I hate you 'D'

The best movie of this season and one of the best spy movies ever - Bourne 3. Watch out for some edge-of-the-seat moments from the movie - Bourne Ultimatum : Ultimate

iWizard [RSS Feed | Email Updates ]

Say, I come upon a random blog post and find it interesting. I leave my views there as comment. Now, I'd surely like to see how others react to my comment. But that was one hell of a job till now. Not any more. Check this - Email notification of Comment

Invincible [RSS Feed ]
This is the new place where I'm writing. I had recently redesigned this blog of my friend Ria who invited me to write there. So, another feather in my cap. ;) My maiden post there -

The latest movie in the making from the Dan Brown stable : Angel & Demons. Really. After 'Da Vinci Code' - expectations are high. - Angels & Demons : Movie in making.

That's all for this week. Watch out for some good posts here next week. Have a nice weekend.

p.s. - Some smilies for Ria - :# :) :D ;) :p :$

Angel and Demons : Movie in making

2007-10-25T14:27:00.000-07:00

Ok, that's Bikram; i.e, ME. Hmm. So, I get to write my first post here. It's 3 hrs past mid-night and I gotta head home now. I guess U all know that I'm in night shift in office for this week. Ohhh.... U might not know. U can get my updates at my blog - genius @ play.

Anyways, to start my 1st blogpost here - lemme tell you about the latest movie in the making from the Dan Brown stable. No, actually I'm gonna link you to that article. Check it @ /Film. All you adventure thriller lovers are gonna love this one.

Till next time, C ya. Chao.

Romance math of Women

2007-09-26T00:41:00.000-07:00

Found this hilarious and somewhat true write up in our intranet this morning. Thought of adding it here for your reading amusement.

In the world of romance, one single rule applies to men:

Make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points.
Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted.
You don't get any points for doing something she expects.

Sorry, that's the way the game is played. Here is a guide to the point system:

SIMPLE DUTIES

You make the bed (+1)
You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow (0)
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)
You go out to buy her what she wants (+5) In the rain (+8) But return with Beer (-5)
You check out a suspicious noise at night (0)
You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing (0)
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)
You pummel it with iron rod (+10)
It's her pet (-10)

SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS

You stay by her side the entire party (0)
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college buddy (-2)
Named Rita (-4)
Rita is a dancer (-6)
Rita is single and is really beautiful (-80)

HER BIRTHDAY

You forget her birthday (-50000)
You take her out to dinner (0)
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar (+1)
Okay, it's a sports bar (-2)
And it's all-you-can-eat night (-3)
It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colours of your favorite team (-10)

A NIGHT OUT

You take her to a movie (+2)
You take her to a movie she likes (+4)
You take her to a movie you hate (+6)
You take her to a movie you like (-2)
It's called 'DeathCop' (-3)
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)

ENJOY THE 'BIG' QUESTION

She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5) [Yes, you LOSE points no matter WHAT]
You hesitate in responding (-10)
You reply, "Where?" (-35)
Any other response (-20)

COMMUNICATION

When she wants to talk about a problem , you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression (0)
You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50)
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+500)
She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-10000)

Now what chance do you have???

Salty Coffee

2007-05-08T05:52:00.000-07:00

He met her at a party. She was so outstanding, many guys chasing after her, while he was so normal, nobody paid attention to him.

At the end of the party, he invited her to have coffee with him, she was surprised but due to being polite, she promised. They sat in a nice coffee shop, he was too nervous to say anything, she felt uncomfortable, and she thought to herself, “Please, let me go home…”

Suddenly he asked the waiter, “Would you please give me some salt? I’d like to put it in my coffee.” Everybody stared at him, so strange! His face turned red but still, he put the salt in his coffee and drank it. She asked him curiously, “Why you have this hobby?” He replied, “When I was a little boy, I lived near the sea, I liked playing in the sea, I could feel the taste of the sea, just like the taste of the salty coffee. Now every time I have the salty coffee, I always think of my childhood, think of my hometown, I miss my hometown so much, I miss my parents who are still living there.” While saying that tears filled his eyes. She ! was deeply touched. That’s his true feeling, from the bottom of his heart. A man who can tell out his homesickness, he must be a man who loves home, cares about home, has responsibility of home… Then she also started to speak, spoke about her faraway hometown, her childhood, her family.

That was a really nice talk, also a beautiful beginning of their story. They continued to date. She found that actually he was a man who meets all her demands; he had tolerance, was kind hearted, warm, careful.

He was such a good person but she almost missed him! Thanks to his salty coffee! Then the story was just like every beautiful love story, the princess married to the prince, and then they were living the happy life… And, every time she made coffee for him, she put some salt in the coffee, as she knew that’s the way he liked it. After 40 years, he passed away, left her a letter which said,

My dearest, please forgive me, forgive my whole life’s lie. This was the only lie I said to you—the salty coffee. Remember the first time we dated? I was so nervous at that time, actually I wanted some sugar,  but I said salt. It was hard for me to change so I just went ahead. I never thought that could be the start of our communication! I tried to tell you the truth many times in my life, but I was too afraid to do that, as I have promised not to lie to you for anything… Now I’m dying, I afraid of nothing so I tell you the truth, I don’t like the salty coffee, what a strange bad taste… But I have had the salty coffee for my whole life! Since I knew you, I never feel sorry for anything I do fo! r you. Having you with me is my biggest happiness for my whole life. If I can live for the second time, still want to know you and have you for my whole life, even though I have to drink the salty coffee again.”

Her tears made the letter totally wet. Someday, someone asked her, “What’s the taste of salty coffee?” She replied, “It’s sweet.”

Originally from : Gagan's Blog

Marriage of s/w Pros....

2007-04-27T06:46:00.000-07:00

Today I read this wonderful story in our office Intranet. It is more or less very true to life. Read it.

One fine day, Vivek's PL Bhatia asks him whether he has any time for a small meeting. Vivek obviously has time and so the two go to a conference room. Bhatia then clears his throat and says "Vivek, there is an on-site requirement. It is in Covina, Los Angeles. It is for six months. I can suggest your name. Do you have any problems?" Vivek cannot believe his ears. Of course why should any one have problems going to the Sam land. "Of course no Bhatia.. I have no problems." he says.

Bhatia looks at him very kindly and says "You better draw up your personal plans with your wife and let me know in a day or two" That's when Vivek remembers that he has a wife. Then it strikes him that there is a Himalayan problem in front of him. Shobana is working in Wipro. She is in the middle of a project in which she is a module-leader. She cannot leave it all and come to Covina with Vivek. On the other hand it will be cruel on Vivek's part to leave her here and go to Covinafor more than half a year. Moreover, they have just been married. Vivek can stay back. But one day he has to go.. He cannot stay back in India indefinitely. Project requirements are too demanding. Shobana can resign Wipro and accompany Vivek. But what is the guarantee that she would find such a nice job in such a nice company after they come back from Covina? So Shobana and Vivek discuss this issue. They reluctantly agree to get separated for six months.

Vivek hugs Shobana in the airport and says "I will be BACK" in a typical Arnold Scharzegger tone and then boards Delta Airways leaving Shobana in tears. In Covina Vivek gets lots of work and his stay gets extended by two more months. The days and months move very slowly. Vivek starts counting even minutes.

During this period, Shobana's PL Ashish Mehta calls her one day and asks her whether she has any time for a small meeting. Shobana wonders what that meeting is.. They go to the conference room and Mehta tells her about a great on-site requirement in Berlin, Germanyfor their customer. "It is for six months and you are most suited person for this. I am going to suggest your name. Do you have any problems?" Mehta asks her.

Shobana gets excited.. Berlin! She has never been out of India. So she instantly nods her head. Mehta then smiles and says "Okay discuss with your hubby and let me know in a day or two"

That's when Shobana gets the gravity of the situation. It will be two months before Vivek can come home..... By the time Shobana will have left to Berlin for six months. Shobana cannot decline this as this is an important assignment. That night Vivek spends hundred dollars on telephone to discuss this matter with Shobana. Finally they decide to go ahead. Shobana breaks down in the phone and Vivek breaks down thinking about his phone bill. And then Shobana leaves to Berlin.

One month after that,Vivek comes back to India. Then Shobana calls him almost everyday and they discuss about all petty things on the phone. Shobana applies for a loan to clear her telephone bills. Vivek gets into a new project which is not yet started. His PL Prateek Ray calls him one day and says that he has to go to Toledo Ohio for the requirement analysis of that project. Vivek frantically says no. Shobana is arriving next month. He doesn't want to miss her. But Ray assures him that the work is only for one month and that he would be back before Shobana comes to India. Thus Vivek flies to Toledo Ohio and gets into the requirement analysis of the new project.That's when he comes to know how difficult it is to retrieve information from the users. You can design a system the user wants only when the user knows what he wants. Vivek gets baffled by the questions his users put..

"Do you think I need those fields "GMG_TYPE_HJHJ_TW" and "Auto_level_ind"?What are they by the way?" The requirements analysis stage continues for three full months at this pace. Shobana comes to India one month after that. And she tells her PL that she doesn't want anymore on-site assignments. "I understand" says Mehta and she desperately waits for Vivek to come back to India. It has already been two months over a year since they last met. Vivek then gets the role of an on-site co-coordinator for this customer. He calls Shobana that night and they really don't know what to do. Shobana offers to resign her job and join him in Toledo. But she is getting 21 grand per month in Indiaand Vivek doesn't want to lose that. "Two more months Shobana and I promise I will be back" Shobana retorts back, "There is no solution for this problem." Vivek gets surprised. "What are you talking about?" he asks her. Shobana fights back her tears. "As long as I am in Wipro I will be getting a lot of on-site opportunities. Even if I decline all of them, what about you? You also work for a software company and there you need to go abroad almost once every quarter. I cannot accompany you as you don't want me to resign my job here. Does that mean we have to stay like this forever? Vivek! I love you and I don't know how I spent fifteen months without even seeing you once. I may not recognize you also if you come in front of me now... Tell me Vivek, is there a solution for this problem?" Vivek doesn't speak anything for a moment. He then realizes the truth in her sentences. It is a never ending problem.

But what about the 20 grand she is getting per month?

"Vivek, is money everything? Can't we comfortably live with what you are getting? Please Vivek, try to understand the situation" Shobana breaks down. Vivek is still undecided. He married a software engineer with a hope that with two incomes he would have a good deal of money to plan their future."Let us face the reality, Vivek" Shobana says, "How much are you paying for the phone calls now? More than 20 grand per month. If I am with you there will your phone bill be so astronomical? Just tell me one thing. Won't you be happy having me there with you?" Shobana slowly turns hysterical. Vivek gets into the crux of the situation. It is true. He has been spending around 600 to 700 dollars per month on India calls...that is far more than what Shobana is getting then. He thinks and thinks..for two days he does nothing else but thinking. Finally he decides that he should have Shobana with him all the time from then onwards at any cost.

Shobana gladly prepares the resignation letter and submits it. Her PL smiles and says "You've made the right decision Shobana..

Congratulations for the bold step. I understand your problems. Anyway! you have a three months notice period here, right? We have a one month assignment in Singapore ..."

MORAL : No software professional should marry another software professional.... unless one of them is ready to resign.

I am SE

2007-02-25T23:25:00.000-08:00

It was raining heavily outside. Dark clouds gathered in the sky and nature was in its ominous best. I took a break from my work and went to the pantry to grab a cup of coffee. I had a sip and went near the window to see the rain pouring down heavily outside the glass structure. I was inside our huge office building, unruffled by even the fierceness of the nature. Through the heavy transparent glass, I could see a small girl trying to hold on to her umbrella which the wind was snatching away from her. I felt sorry for the girl, and was happy that I was not in a similar pathetic situation. Yes. I take pride for the fact that I am a software engineer. . I have everything which a common man would envy; money, status, respect, you name it I have it. I always wanted to be software professional and here I am, working for one of the best firms in the world. But then, am I really happy? Now, I could see an imprint of my palm on the other glass window, through which I reminisced my past, basked in the warmth of the sun shine.

My childhood was so much of fun. I vividly remember those rainy days, when I hugged my mother tightly during sleeping listening to all the stories told by her. Now, I have a big house here, but then it is just a house, not a home. My parents are pretty far away from me now. I have a cell phone to talk to them everyday, but then I really miss those dinners which I had with my family everyday. I could easily afford to taste all the different cuisines these days, but the best of food there, lack the love and affection which is present in the food prepared by my mother.

I threw a lavish party for my colleagues for my birthday, but then they would never replace the birthdays when my friends secretly brought a cake and at the end, half of the cake would have ended up on my face. The couple of hundred bucks that u save for a long period just to give a treat to your friends in the road side chat shop can never give the pleasure even after spending a few thousand bucks these days.

The scene of me crying and refusing to have dinner on the day when I fought with my best friend came to my mind. Today, she has gone far away from me, taking away my love and with it my life, but I am sitting and coding here with a false smile on my face. Everyday I meet new people, but then I long ceased to make a new friend.

It's true that I have a lot of things now. I have a nice bed, but no time to sleep. Lots of money, but no friends to spend it with. The latest designer clothes, but a worn out body. Quite a few to flirt, but no one to love. Awards for technical excellence, but no reward for the crave for peaceful ambience. A confident demeanor, but a reluctant and apathetic mind. Full of rain, but no sunshine even in the farthest distance.

Now, I could see the small girl on the road enjoying in the rain with her umbrella firmly in her grip. She might not have all the comforts which I have, but then she has the innocence and fun which I lost a long time back. I have decided to come out of this false fantasy, even if it is at the expense of losing the tap of the software engineer. I am going to again enjoy my life. I am going to go out in the rain and play with the small kid now. I removed my tie, and went near my computer to shut it down. Just then, I saw a new mail alert in my mail box. I slowly opened outlook and I found a message from my manager with an attachment saying that there was a critical defect in the code and I have to fix it soon. I convinced myself that I am not going to get bogged down again by these pressures and stick to my decision. I ignored the mail and went to the rest room. After a couple of minutes, the software engineer in me came out, his shirt tucked in with the perfect tie knot, sat before the computer, and started typing,

XYZ,

I am looking into the defect and will send the patch files before EOD.

SE

Dear Friend

2007-02-13T19:54:00.000-08:00

Happy Valentines Day. They say "love is eternal, no matter what". Maybe....
Here I'm posting one such love story, in PDF format - 2 parts.
Click on the image to download.

You'll need to install some fonts to read the document properly. Download it here, extract the files and copy-paste in your c:\windows\fonts folder.

Best of Times

2007-01-08T05:09:00.000-08:00

Showcasing the best moments in Indian history

Marriage Blues

2006-12-27T05:24:00.000-08:00

That title just occurred in my mind. Catchy title - don't know the exact meaning it conveys.
Anyways, the reason why I am writing this post. Rani is getting married today. AT LAST. At last d day has come which i always feared in college. When I was madly in love with her back in college - every now & then I used to fear that some day she's gonna leave me forever. Against all odds, I hoped I'll win her heart some day. But that day never came. We didn't even met on last day in college. There was no break up - things just evaporated. Later I text -ed her on the day I bought my first mobile. Not regular chat. Once in a month. Just two times. Then there was a gap of 3 months. I'd moved over. There were some new interests in my life - getting a job being foremost among them. As for having a company to share thoughts & feelings with - I had Shwetha. She's been really nice to me when I were down. (Well, now she is busy in her own life. INFY)

Anyways, when this Ness recruitment process was on, she called on 24th Nov. How I felt...??? Well, I really don't know.! The 1st thing that came to my mind was "Why d hell is she calling me...!!". Answer was - to invite me to her wedding. (Technically - she knew that no 'Northy' is gonna come; so 'be d nice gal'). Don't know what were she thinking - why d hell would I like to attend her wedding....!! Moreover, I really can't attend it - if selected, I was expected to join by 1st dec. So, I told her so and hung up. End of story...?? Well, not here. The usual hang-over bit. Chit chat with rajan & gyan. She's claimed to invite only we 4 northy guys. So 'friendly' of her, naa. Any reader smelling politics....?? She had asked for my address "Will send u my wedding card". Huh, that turned out just as reliable as her any other word - didn't receive any other till today.

Anyways, I didn't even give it a thought until Shruthi raised this topic a few days back. Since then, I've been counting down;

6 - 5 - 4 - 3 - 2 - 1 - BOOM.

Today is the D Day. (Disaster.... 4 whom...? u ask. Groom of course). No special feelings or remorse. The day went by as usual - in fact more cheerful than usual. First of all, interview of Shruthi & all was on. And we had our fresher program this evening. So, had a great day. Now that I am back in my cubical & have nothing to do, am typing this post. I wonder what is happening right now @ her side...?? Is she uttering some more lies at the alter....???

Vicky A's Diary : Epi-5

2006-07-10T10:35:00.000-07:00

23rd Sep '04, Thursday
A letter for Rani………
So Rani, this is the true story of Suhani. I wanted to tell you this story for a very long time. Not ‘coz I want u to be impressed or fall in luv with me. But ‘coz I don’t want to be guilty in your eyes. Actually, from the day u’ve told me ‘bout your previous northie friend (if he exists), I’ve always feared that u may doubt my intentions & feelings; that u may think I am flirting with u. Being true to my heart, when I first talked to u, just a hearty friendship was in my mind. But don’t know why I gradually begun to like you. And my sis says, “when u like someone & U know why u like that person, it’s crush. But when u like someone & u don’t know why u like that person, it’s love.” Know what, mine story is a bit similar to that of “Kyun…. Ho
gaya naa.” Mujhe bhi Vivek ki tarah apne pyaar ka ehsaas tub hota hain jub mujhe lagta hain meri Aish mujhse duur jaa rahi hain. The only difference is that in the movie, Aish also was in love with Vivek & the story had a happy ending, they lived happily ever after. But in my case…..

Don’t know why, but at times I really feel that u also love me as much as I do. But u r so much afraid of this world that u won’t confess ever. U will shed tears in loneliness, but won’t bring the words of heart on your lips. If I ever get to know that this is really the truth, then believe me, I don’t know what I’ll do. I am not saying that I’ll die without u. But this is also true that I can’t even think of living without u. When I close my eyes, I see U. When I open my eyes, I want to see U. I never thought I’ll ever fall in love. But from the day I knew ‘what love is’,
I’ve always loved you. Everybody falls in love. But surely, no one ever was so much in love as me. ‘Coz no one else had U.

I don’t want or need to impress you. All I want is to see U happy, smiling always. And I just can’t afford to see you crying in pain, hurt. That’s why I wanted to tell u the truth. I don’t want u to think that I ditched u in the name of friendship. Anu says that I should wait a bit more, that I should give you some more time to get close to me, to know me better. Then only I can win your Love. But I believe that love doesn’t need time but a moment to blossom. I always believed in letting your love go. If it comes back, it is indeed yours. But if it doesn’t, it never was. My life was as black & white as the previous pages. U brought colours into it. Now whether it remains colourful, or gets back to the b&w era, is up to U. Even last night, Anu was saying that don’t come to me to drop your tears when u turn into Devdas. Huh, Devdas !!! I promise, I’ll never be a Devdas. Kabhi mujhse apni dil ki baat kehke to dekho. Whatever u say, I’ll always respect your decision. U can always
trust me on that. If what I think is just a wild imagination, then don’t hesitate to shout at me & dump me. I won’t be hurt. ‘U r separated from me.’ will be just a sentence for people to say. The truth is, u’ll always be with me like dreams & tears in my eyes. And who knows, maybe I‘ll write far better things than I do now, as a love-cut heart cries louder. U know, I’ve always liked crying. When I don’t get a reason to cry, I eventually create a situation so that I can cry. Crying at times lightens the heart & makes you feel good. I hope I could take away your tears too so that u don’t even get a chance to cry. I am too selfish, naa…..
Plz don’t mind.

Tomorrow, 24th of Sep, between 5 & 7 pm, I’ll wait for a call from you, to know if I have really lost the dearest friend I ever had. Plz say something or anything. Your silence will kill me.

Anyways, do u know why I missed the dinner & my slip on the night of 6th jan ’04? Well, actually….. uhhhh…… Ok, phir kabhie bataunga…..

It’s Vicky 4 U

This whole Diary Episode series is now available for download in the form of a book. To download - Click Here

Vicky A's Diary : Epi-4

2006-05-15T05:43:00.000-07:00

24th July '04, Saturday.
11:30 pm. Staircase of 6228. Train is about to leave the town. The breeze of the night is kissing me good bye, leaving a trace of moisture in my eyes. Gradually, all the trees, houses, fields are falling behind and some precious moments with them. I’ll be back here in a month, but the moments won’t be.
Two years. I’ve lost many things in these two years, besides my heart. And got nothing but memories in return. Inhi yaado ko apne saath le jaa raha hoon.
Today, after the completion of exams, Rani left without meeting me. I was waiting there for her for the last 45 minutes & she knew it. Still…..!! Now it was almost evident that I won’t get even a glimpse of her for the next forty days. But this heart declined to admit it. Every now & then, it was crying ‘she will come back.’
And she was. Some talks on this & that and then she wanted to know ‘bout Suhani. Well, I did tell her the true story of Suhani alias Rani. And now she knew for sure that none other than she is Suhani. “Ye to tum meri hi story soona rahe ho.” She didn’t stay there any longer. Maybe, she didn’t return for me. She came back for Suhani, to know more ‘bout her. But why? Why is she so much interested in her that she came back to me leaving her ego behind ! Just a feminine curiosity, or some sort of complexion, jealousy. And if so, then why did she virtually ran away after knowing the truth of Suhani !!
Perhaps, Rani never looked at me that way. Maybe, I am just a timepass for her. But scraps of
this timepass are what steals a heart beat from me. She selecting the ‘most romantic’ article as the best, “kya main puchh sakti hoon, tum khayalo mein kise dekhte ho.”, that very call of her after the breakup, “kya tum mujhse naraj ho, mujhse baat bhi nahi karna chahte !”, mere rooth jane pe pinki se bhi chhupa ke mujhe phone karna, checking my IA marks, that 1st meet in city, “main to samajhti thi tum……… tumhari koi girlfriend nahi hain”, that insecure feeling of her.
Are all these just a mirage ! Don’t they have any value !! Rani, u ask yourself, When I get close to u, don’t u feel a rise in pulse! When I call your name, don’t u feel that’s the cutest name in the whole world! When I stare at u, don’t u feel gorgeous! When we touched for the 1st time, didn’t u feel the spark! When I say “u r looking nice”, don’t u blush at heart! When I say “Bye”, don’t u want the moment to freeze! Whenever, wherever u hear my name, don’t u feel “kuch kuch” ! If all these answer to a yes, then why are u punishing me & yourself ! Do u fear commitment ? Are u scared of the world around or your family not approving ? Then u must know, I am not Adi of ‘Saathiya’, but am Raj of ‘ddlj’. I’ll make u my own when I win u from your family. If u r with me, I believe I can do anything. True love has the power to conquer anything & everything. Do u feel I can ever betray u? Have u ever asked your heart what it wants?
Close your eyes; forget who u r, where u r for a moment; listen to your heart; Ask yourself,
Can you live without me?

29th Aug '04, Sunday
End of holidays. Once again it’s time to get back to college. Time to bid good bye to the family.
But to be frank, it’s not much painful. In fact, I am dearly waiting for tomorrow when I set for
SBC. U know, I can’t seat idle at a place for a long time. And most of all, Rani is there.
36 days since we last talked, since we last met. In these 36 days, I missed her like anything.
I am still alive ‘coz though she is far from my eyes, she is very near to my heart. Don’t know what she is thinking ‘bout me right now, especially after what happened on the 24th. But it is for sure that in these 36 days, not even a single day would have passed when she didn’t remember me. But for better or for worse - only she knows. Maybe for worse. The way she responded to the final call of 24th and rejected the two calls of 25th, it seems the relation is under threat. Wo kehti hain, “tum mein kitne emotions hain, kitni feelings hain.”, pur itna bhi nahi samajhti ke mere sare emotions, sari feelings usi se joore hain. Till now, I have only indicated to her that she herself is Suhani.
But when & how all these happened is still within me.

Dil ki hain kya dastan ye soonane main aa raha hooon
                      Jo khwab dekha hain tujhko dikhane wo khwab la raha hoon.

Vicky A's Diary : Epi-3

2006-05-08T03:32:00.000-07:00

26th May '04, Wednesday.

Life is really very weird, isn’t it? The wishes we make, turns to reality very rarely. This is more truewhen the heart is involved. Kuch hi din huye hain maine apni chahat ko samjha hain. Aur isi bich pehle pyar ka pehla gum bhi mil gaya. Rani doesn’t feel for me the way I feel for her. Rather, she is much confused ‘bout me. Today, she was telling me why people down here treat us differently. Gradually, the discussion moved from ‘in general’ to her personal view. She told me that some years back, she had another friend who was very close to her. Next, the way she described that friend, it felt as if she was telling her story keeping me in mind. “Baad mein pata chala wo h bahut bura tha, mere saath lirt kar raha tha.” So, Rani feels that I am flirting with her and she conveyed this very feeling to me by creating the story of a previous friend. For a moment, it felt I am really too bad. Rani mujhe aapna itna achhchha dost manti hain, mujhe itna value deti hain, meri dosti khona nahi chahti. Aur main hoon ke usse dosti ke jagah pyaar expect karne laga. How mean !!!!! She ignored all the rumors about us & showed her trust in me. And now, I myself was going to hurt that trust. Maybe, I am cheating her by having love for her in my heart. I should tell her the truth. I had never seen her in that way. Maine bhi usein upna dost hi mana tha. Pur yehi dosti kub mere liye pyar mein badal gayi, mujhe hi nahi pata. Usne kaha tha “tum log char saal baad sub kuch bhoola ke, friends ko chhor ke chale jaate ho.” No Rani, I am not among them. I will hold your hands for a lifetime. After four years, I will take you with myself.
Chalogi mere saath??

8th June '04, Tuesday.

Kabhi kabhi aapko eksaath itni khusiya mil jati hain ke aap sochte hain ub aagar maut bhi aa jaye to koi gum nahi. Something like that only happened to me today.
Actually, yesterday it was the cosmos night & my very own thnx giving day. But Rani couldn’t
spare some time for me. It was my fault only. I approached her at the last minute when her bus was about to leave. So, she left & I watched till the bus was out of view. Then don’t know what happened to me, main bhi usi raah par chal diya. Usi ki baatein yaad aa rahi thi. The moments we have spent together, the loving memories that have us bonded together. At those very moments, aise lug raha tha jaise Rani mere saath hi hain, mere bohot paas. It was feeling so……good. Dil ne chahha ke yuhi sari raat khule aakash ke neeche ghumta rahu.
Anyways, my thnx-giving day was rendered incomplete. So, today at 6 pm, I called her and asked her to meet me at the parvathi stop within 1 hour. She was pleading, “main abhi nahi aa sakti, plz plz.”, but I put the phone down. After a while it occurred to me that she might not give much importance to this call or may get angry on me for calling her like that. It was for the 1st time that I asked her to meet me in city, that too, in an hour’s notice. Whether she will come or not? I was so much nervous. And I just couldn’t believe my eyes when she came there within 10 minutes.

It was drizzling out there. A sweet aroma of the drenched earth in the air. The nature, gleaming after the fresh shower. And at the locus of all these, there she was, cladding the baby sky, with an umbrella over her head. Some unexplored excitement on face, some boundless curiosities in eyes, a bit of hesitation in mind, with all these and much more, she was looking entirely different. For a moment, went breathless. It seemed as if an angel has landed on earth with the rain. A face so delicate that anybody would be afraid to touch it for the fear of having it crumble. The magnificent elegance, the innocent gaze…….. everything was so magical. I was feeling like I had never felt before. We talked for hardly 3 minutes; still I’ll never forget those mesmerizing moments for the next 3 lives.
Afterall, she had responded to my very 1st call to visit me for the very 1st time.

3rd July '04, Saturday.

For the last few days, life is really on the go. So many things happened in such a short timespan.
Ok, first things first. On the 1st of july, I asked Rani to meet me at the temple. Temple, ’coz I thought she might like that place as the venue. So I visited the temple for the 1st time in seven years. Pehli baar bhagwan se kuch manga. Anyways, Rani didn’t turn up. Instead, she made a call the day after. And such was my luck, I was not in hostel at that time. U know what, whenever I asked god for something, e snatched something else from me in lieu of that wish. But this time, I don’t wanna allow him the chance. The very next day, that is today I called her aur bato hi bato mein pehli baar upni dil ki kuch baatein usein kehdi. Of course, Suhani ki madat leke. Suhani, for me – a character to introduce Rani with herself, for Rani – my 1st adhura love. Main Rani se humesha kehta tha “mujhe tumse kuch ehna hain, pur pata nahi kaise kahu. Isiliye, phir kabhi bataunga.” That “phir kabhi” was today. I told her, “Always remember, duniya ke kisi kone mein ek aadmi bohot khush hain, kyuki tum khush ho. Tumhe hur wo chiz mile jiski umhe chahhat ho. Tumhe kabhi naa kehna pare ‘kaash’.” “Ye sub maine kabhi Suhani se kaha tha.” But I didn’t tell her that ‘kabhi’ is today itself and that Suhani is none other than U. Before disconnecting, I said, “miss u”, but she didn’t respond !

I am sending a story on Suhani to Rani. In fact, I got this idea of Suhani from Rani herself when she had recited her story of her previous northie friend. And now, I am telling her own story to her with her character named as Suhani. “Hope only, my Suhani would understand someday that none other than she is my Suhani.”

{TO BE CONCLUDED........}

Vicky A's Diary : Epi-2

2006-05-03T06:15:00.000-07:00

5th May '04, Wednesday.
Dear diary, I have a confession to make. In past few days, I’ve committed one of the most heinous offences. I lied to papa - my papa - who taught me to be honest always. It would have hurt him immensely if he got to know the truth from somewhere else. Main apni hi nazron mein gir jata. So I had to tell him the truth. But I was already so much ashamed that I couldn’t sum up the courage to talk to him. Don’t know how he would react. I felt the very need of a friend who would be beside me at that moment, supporting & encouraging me morally. Rani. Today I am able to face the mirror, thnx to her. She advised me to call home & speak the truth and was there beside me all through that call. Whenever I felt weak, I looked at her and regained my strength. Agar aaj wo nahi hoti, to main shayad kabhi sach nahi bol pata aur zindagi bhar apni family ke samne ek liar hoke reh jata. Thnx buddy, thnx for being there for me.

14th May '04, Friday
“Pata hain log humare bare mein kya bolte hain?”. To abate the discomfort of some nonsense people, the court of friendship sentenced me to life even without a single hearing. “Abse hum college mein baat nahi karenge.”. I was there in the lab to wish her ‘good bye’ for her vacation, but she made a ‘good bye’ forever and left me alone in the lab.
Why? Why me?? Just ‘coz I am a boy, a boy from distant land ! Just ‘coz maine usein, sirf usein upna subse pyara dost mana !! just ‘coz some tipsy were irked !!!

Now this is Rani, whom I thought to be different from others, someone on whom I can always rely.
And now, just some moments of disgrace made her forget the tender moments spent together. That very friend, whom I thought to be my power even in most hopeless situations, was lacking the courage to face the little world with the truth on her side. The friend I always wanted to be by my side didn't want to be even seen with me. She didn’t look back even once and left. Now it’s 7 pm, six hours since she left me alone. And I am still alone. The college day function is at full blast outside. All my ‘friends’ are out, enjoying their share of the day. And I already had enough of my ruined day. I even can’t get sis when I called home.
This is it. I am destined to be lonely today. So let it be. I am not complaining. Mujhe dukh hain to bus is baat ka ke itne deeno mein bhi tum mujhe samajh nahi payee Rani. Anyways, if this can make U happy & your life easier, it’s ok with me. Remember, u r still my best buddie.
Someone, somewhere thinks of your smile, And finds in your presence that life’s worthwhile.

So whenever U r lonely, remember it’s true, Someone, somewhere is thinking of you.

21st May '04, Friday.
Seven days. Seven days of anxiety, seven days of confusion, seven days of distress. The last seven days passed like seven never ending years. Only I know how I spent each moment of these seven days.
The first two days went like hell. Nothing felt good. Then I tried to recover myself. What have I
lost? Just a friend ! So what if she was one in a billion ! So what if she was so close to me that I can share just about anything with her ! So what if I am feeling myself incomplete without her ! Yes. Don’t know why, but aisa lug raha hain jaise mujhse mera sub kuch chhin liya gaya ho. God knows, I have always considered Rani as one of my best buddies. But for the past few days, I myself am confused regarding my feelings for her. Destiny has always snatched everything I love from me. But I had never felt like this before. Now it feels as if she is something more than just a friend for me, as if I can’t live without her. I closed my eyes, and it was she who appeared before me. Maybe……maybe main usein chahne laga hoon. The fear of losing her forever is what made me realize her importance in my life. I don’t wanna lose U Rani. How can I spell S_ccess without U? Or C_te? Or H_mble? Or F_n? Or F_t_re? Or even Tr_st? What will I do without U?
Plz come back. Plz… Wait. There’s a call for me.
Plz don’t wake me up if I am dreaming. The call I just received was from, guess who, Rani.
Listening to her voice after so many days felt like it’s spring time again. In 876 seconds, usne aur uski khamoshi ne kaphi kuch kaha. Each of her words sounded like music to ears. Every now & then, I feared she might cut the phone now. I had so much to say, so much to express, but could not utter a single word. At last, she said, “Ub ye mera last coin hain.” . So cute & innocent naa … Last 90 secs of leased lifeline. After that, fascination. So, what was it? Did it signify something? At least, she doesn’t want the relation to break, to end as if it was never there. Maybe she doesn’t want to lose me from her life. Maybe I am special for her.
Hey Rani, am I?

{To BE CONCLUDED....}

Vicky A's Diary : Epi-1

2006-05-02T05:06:00.000-07:00

Starting 2day, I'll be posting the article named "Vicky A's Diary" - the expression of my love for Rani. This is the article that I gave her in may '05 and after which she said - "Hum achhe dost rahenge"

START

24th Sep '02, Tuesday.
The 1st day of our college. The beginning of a new life, the stepping-stone for the future. A whole new environment. A bunch of unknown people all around you. Maybe someday, some of them will be my friends,friends for a lifetime. But it surely will take some time. So, let the time take its course & hope for the best.

18th Oct '02, Friday.
Rani didn’t attend the classes today. Maybe she was busy somewhere else. But hey, why am I bothered! Who is she! Not even a friend. Just a girl I am observing for last few days. But why? Actually, she is not just any other girl. She is a bit different. A beautiful girl, with a lot of innocence in her eyes and a bit of unexplored uneasiness too. Arriving at the last minute, last bench corner seat, attending lectures, taking notes, the last person to leave the class. This is Rani. It’s almost a month since our 1st day, but I didn’t see her smile for even a single moment till date. And don’t know why, I wanna see this girl smile.

29th Jan '03, Wednesday
I couldn’t talk to her even today. Don’t know why, but I just couldn’t sum up the courage to talk to her. Afterall, who am I? What am I? A mediocre student with no credibility, no personality, no great looks, nothing great to boost of. Don’t know how she will react if I approach her.

19th Dec '03, Friday.
Today I found a new friend. Rani, my 1st girlfriend down here. ‘Girl’ friend, not ‘girlfriend’.

I called her after the class and said “Mujhe pehchanti ho?” At 1st she was perplexed. But on getting the joke, there was this cute smile on her face.(“Tumhe kaun nahi pehchanta!” Really?)
I wish I could show her how pretty she looks with her smile. That was the beginning of our friendship.
Hope this ‘Pretty Woman’ becomes one of those ‘friends 4 ever’. Keep smiling.

6th Jan '04, Tuesday.
The 1st Tuesday of the new year showed me something I never want to see. Dew drops dripping from heaven. Rani was in tears, mumbling on how she failed to execute her lab program. She was very much upset and needed a cozy shoulder. But the stupid me couldn’t do anything to cheer her up but stand beside like a mummy. I just couldn’t understand what was happening to me. Every teardrop in her eyes was hurting me like hell. I wanted to change the world for her, so that it doesn’t hurt her anymore. Maybe, that’s what true friends are for. Besides, I can always feel the pain of others.
I am too good a person you know.

1st April '04, Thursday
Have you ever lost a friend? Pray not. Ek dost ko kho dene ka darr kya hota hain, ye maine aaj mehsus kiya. I never knew the situation could take such a turn. Just a little practical joke and my friendship was at stake.

When I gave her the folded paper, she went nervous and was looking nervous throughout the class. The very thought of her face turning baby pink on getting the joke was amusing me like anything. But when she didn’t respond at the end of morning classes and even during the afternoon session, it was my turn to get worried. She hadn’t read the paper yet. But why? Was she really that much afraid. What if she tears it apart or throws it away even without reading it once??? For the rest of her life, she will think that I had given her a love letter. Those last two periods were the most uneasy moments of my entire life. Each passing second felt like never ending years. Don’t know what she was thinking of me. Maybe something wrong.
The very feeling of losing a dear friend just out of misunderstanding was killing me. It was only at the end of the day that she confessed “that was funny” and brought me out of the living hell. I wish I don’t have to face such situations ever again. Humari dosti ko kisi ki najar na lage.

Lesson learnt: no more practical jokes now onwards.

{To BE CONCLUDED}

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2006-05-01T12:56:00.000-07:00