Showing posts with label Gals. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Gals. Show all posts
Modern human math
People in my office are getting innovative these days. ;) Found the following post in the intranet today. Guess this is also some fwd but really a great one. Check it out -
Modern Maths
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Modern Maths
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Equation 1
Human = eat + sleep + work + enjoy
Donkey = eat + sleep
Therefore,
Human = Donkey + work + enjoy
Human - enjoy = Donkey + work
In other words,
Human that don't know enjoy = Donkey that workEquation 2
Men = eat + sleep + earn money
Donkeys = eat + sleep
Therefore,
Men = Donkeys + earn money
Men - earn money = Donkeys
In other words,
Men that don't earn money = DonkeysEquation 3
Women = eat + sleep + spend
Donkeys = eat + sleep
Therefore,
Women = Donkeys + spend
Women - spend = Donkeys
In other words,
Women that don't spend = DonkeysTo Conclude:
Men earn money not to let women become Donkeys!
Women spend not to let men become Donkeys!
Man + Woman = 2 Donkeys!
And the Donkeys lived happily ever after!:D
Romance math of Women
Found this hilarious and somewhat true write up in our intranet this morning. Thought of adding it here for your reading amusement.
In the world of romance, one single rule applies to men:
Sorry, that's the way the game is played. Here is a guide to the point system:
SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed (+1)
You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow (0)
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)
You go out to buy her what she wants (+5) In the rain (+8) But return with Beer (-5)
You check out a suspicious noise at night (0)
You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing (0)
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)
You pummel it with iron rod (+10)
It's her pet (-10)
SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS
In the world of romance, one single rule applies to men:
- Make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points.
- Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted.
- You don't get any points for doing something she expects.
Sorry, that's the way the game is played. Here is a guide to the point system:
SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed (+1)
You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow (0)
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)
You go out to buy her what she wants (+5) In the rain (+8) But return with Beer (-5)
You check out a suspicious noise at night (0)
You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing (0)
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)
You pummel it with iron rod (+10)
It's her pet (-10)
SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS
You stay by her side the entire party (0)
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college buddy (-2)
Named Rita (-4)
Rita is a dancer (-6)
Rita is single and is really beautiful (-80)
HER BIRTHDAY
You forget her birthday (-50000)
You take her out to dinner (0)
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar (+1)
Okay, it's a sports bar (-2)
And it's all-you-can-eat night (-3)
It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colours of your favorite team (-10)
A NIGHT OUT
You take her to a movie (+2)
You take her to a movie she likes (+4)
You take her to a movie you hate (+6)
You take her to a movie you like (-2)
It's called 'DeathCop' (-3)
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)
ENJOY THE 'BIG' QUESTION
She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5) [Yes, you LOSE points no matter WHAT]
You hesitate in responding (-10)
You reply, "Where?" (-35)
Any other response (-20)
COMMUNICATION
When she wants to talk about a problem , you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression (0)
You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50)
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+500)
She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-10000)
Now what chance do you have???
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