Modern human math
Modern Maths
*************
Equation 1
Human = eat + sleep + work + enjoy
Donkey = eat + sleep
Therefore,
Human = Donkey + work + enjoy
Human - enjoy = Donkey + work
In other words,
Human that don't know enjoy = Donkey that work
Equation 2
Men = eat + sleep + earn money
Donkeys = eat + sleep
Therefore,
Men = Donkeys + earn money
Men - earn money = Donkeys
In other words,
Men that don't earn money = Donkeys
Equation 3
Women = eat + sleep + spend
Donkeys = eat + sleep
Therefore,
Women = Donkeys + spend
Women - spend = Donkeys
In other words,
Women that don't spend = Donkeys
To Conclude:
Men earn money not to let women become Donkeys!
Women spend not to let men become Donkeys!
Man + Woman = 2 Donkeys!
And the Donkeys lived happily ever after!
:D
Today's headlines...
I followed up on the news after a long time and all I get is the following:
10 year old children are used in place of oxen to plough farm lands as they say tractors cant be used here and it is not possible to get oxen. So all they get is 10 yr old children?
And when the Minister for Child Welfare is posed with the situation and is asked questions he says "what's wrong if the children do some work for their living?"
If the Minister of Child Welfare speaks as such, I can only imagine the work he's been doing for the welfare of children in the country!
How can people be so irresponsible!
Another example of extreme sense of responsibility was shown by Doctors in a hospital in Gurgaon who turned away a woman who was about to deliver, stating that her case was too complicated and the consequence was that she delivered in the parking lot and the baby died for the lack of care and treatment.
Do such Doctors even deserve a license to practice? Are they suitably employed?
Are such Doctors and Ministers going to help us in our dreams of becoming a prosperous country?
The obvious answer is HELL NO.
We can be upbeat about the stock markets, about the exponentially growing IT exports and blah blah blah. But what about the other undisclosed face of the country where babies dont earn the right to live because they belong to poor parents, where 10 yr olds plough fields in lieu of oxen 10 hrs a day and are not even allowed to complain?
Damn this hurts me.
Photography Weekend!
So many plans of doing so many things, reading and finishing so many things and all washed by a single object of passion!
The Camera!
Damn!
My old college buddy visited me this weekend and he carried with himself his new Camera which is the kind I find interesting! So I just could let the opportunity slip away and forgot about all plans and just clicked and clicked in the last two days!
Well, some of them came out really well and I've got to work on them and a couple of them are here for you to see! :)
You can see a better quality version of these pictures in my Flickr photostream.
Sorry about the advertising but it takes too long to upload decent quality pictures on Blogger. :(
I hope you like the pictures.
There are more in the making. Keep a watch on my Flickr and you can see the newer ones.
end of my blogging
Its 4 days now and I've no idea on what's happening on my blog, how it looks; I can't manage my posts and yes I certainly can't post anything. I can't comment and another problem is that I can't have a look at anyone else's blog !! :@ The only pathetic reason behind this is my blog INVINCIBLE in not loading on my PC!!! I can log in, but the moment I click on any of the blogs, it shows "the page cannot be displayed". :(
I desperately wanted to post something on Saturday but wow, I couldn't! Look at my predicament! But yes, all thanks to Bikram, he posted on my behalf with a "disclaimer"! :)
My biggest fear for the time being is, what if none of my blogs ever load on my PC, what will I do??? Will I've to quit blogging! The most horrid problem amidst all this is, all the other sites are loading, blogger too actually but not my blog and yes not other blogs either! I tried everything I could, but awfully failed. :k
All these problems have forced me to think, am I such a blog fanatic?? :o Its only 4 days now and not forty! How can I be so obsessed with blogging or any other damn thing on earth!
Not cool Ria!!! I'm really skeptical whether I'll ever get to blog or not! Let me keep my fingers crossed! Quite obviously I want to post this, that's the reason am writing it, and since I can't do the needful, I guess Bikram will do it! :$ I feel so bad to bother him, but I hardly have any other choice left. He can't always post on my behalf with a disclaimer every time, it's not done.
Apparently, I can't go to cyber every now and then just for the sake of blogging! I've decided, if this continues for few more days, I'll quit blogging. No option here! :x
I'm going ethnic
AUTHOR : RIA SHAH
Normally, I am a jeans and a T- shirt girl, I want to feel comfortable 24/7. I am most obviously known for not wearing saris and stuff of that sort! I've seen women wearing saris and looking really gorgeous! But one thing I always thought was, how on earth do they carry it and how easily do they handle these jhamelas , :# don't they feel bulky!
So, to identify with this sari mania, I thought why not wear it! But in excitement I forgot that I don't even know how to drape it!!!!! :$ Poor…poor me! As we all know, RIA is RIA, I went ahead and draped it (we can always try) , guess what happened guys?? Yeah, you are right DISASTER. Well, it happens, so what if I failed, I can always take someone's help! I went to my sis in law , and was 'happily' prepared for another disaster, but I was shockingly pleased to see that it looked elegant; ok now, I looked pretty too. :) But one problem was, I felt bulky and weary within minutes.
Since I know now, that even I can wear sari and 'try' to carry it well, am all set to stun my friends and family! On Sunday is my cousin's wedding party, am all set to wear it and look gorgeous too!! ;) I'm very much smitten by my mom's saris, so have quietly picked one, without her knowledge (obviously I want to surprise her) and made all the preparations of wearing it! Can't wait now……
Thanks for the warm Welcome!
Well Well Well!
I see that my reputation precedes me!
Ria already has announced about my avid blogging habits but I must say it was very generous of her to shower upon me some pretty words of praise...specially about my pictures! :)
I love it when someone calls my pictures good.
And that's me for you to see!
And let me do a little bit of advertising before I proceed...my pictures can be seen
here-
http://corridor.amvona.com/zombiezparadize
I am badly in need of buying an SLR camera so any donations are welcome!! :D
Living upto my reputation, I wont write much today...got truckloads of work to finish..but
I would definitely say "Thank you so much Ria" for extending such a warm welcome.
And I assure you, that you will see some beautiful pictures in your blog alongside more than occasional write ups! Just wait and watch!
And how on Earth would a post from me be complete without my trademark " :) "
What say Ria?
Two week update
Links under Invincible will open in this window only. All other links will open in a new window.
G@P v4.1 [RSS Feed | Email Updates ]
- In India - the definition of Majority and Minority is literally opposite to their conventional meaning. Here 85% majority craves for the indulgence of the 15% minority. Minority is showered with perks while the so called majority is struggling to live. Who actually is in danger? Think about it - Secularism : Majority & Minority
- Can you justify why Boxing and WWE are called a sport? Is there any sporting attitude involved? The fighters are in the ring to kill each other. Have you ever seen a boxing or WWE fight ending with the two sides shaking hands? - Boxing : is it a game?
- One unusual weekend in Bangalore. Durga Puja, Bourne, weird cooking, funny snaps, Free stuff; catch all the action here - Weekend in Bangalore
- Have you ever hated someone so much so that you start hating everything around him / her; to the extent of hating yourself when he / she is around you? This is height of hatred - I hate you 'D'
- The best movie of this season and one of the best spy movies ever - Bourne 3. Watch out for some edge-of-the-seat moments from the movie - Bourne Ultimatum : Ultimate
iWizard [RSS Feed | Email Updates ]
- Say, I come upon a random blog post and find it interesting. I leave my views there as comment. Now, I'd surely like to see how others react to my comment. But that was one hell of a job till now. Not any more. Check this - Email notification of Comment
Invincible [RSS Feed ]
This is the new place where I'm writing. I had recently redesigned this blog of my friend Ria who invited me to write there. So, another feather in my cap. ;) My maiden post there -
- The latest movie in the making from the Dan Brown stable : Angel & Demons. Really. After 'Da Vinci Code' - expectations are high. - Angels & Demons : Movie in making.
That's all for this week. Watch out for some good posts here next week. Have a nice weekend.
p.s. - Some smilies for Ria - :# :) :D ;) :p :$
Angel and Demons : Movie in making
Anyways, to start my 1st blogpost here - lemme tell you about the latest movie in the making from the Dan Brown stable. No, actually I'm gonna link you to that article. Check it @ /Film. All you adventure thriller lovers are gonna love this one.
Till next time, C ya. Chao.
Romance math of Women
In the world of romance, one single rule applies to men:
- Make the woman happy. Do something she likes, and you get points.
- Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted.
- You don't get any points for doing something she expects.
Sorry, that's the way the game is played. Here is a guide to the point system:
SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed (+1)
You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow (0)
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)
You go out to buy her what she wants (+5) In the rain (+8) But return with Beer (-5)
You check out a suspicious noise at night (0)
You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing (0)
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)
You pummel it with iron rod (+10)
It's her pet (-10)
SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS
You stay by her side the entire party (0)
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college buddy (-2)
Named Rita (-4)
Rita is a dancer (-6)
Rita is single and is really beautiful (-80)
HER BIRTHDAY
You forget her birthday (-50000)
You take her out to dinner (0)
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar (+1)
Okay, it's a sports bar (-2)
And it's all-you-can-eat night (-3)
It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colours of your favorite team (-10)
A NIGHT OUT
You take her to a movie (+2)
You take her to a movie she likes (+4)
You take her to a movie you hate (+6)
You take her to a movie you like (-2)
It's called 'DeathCop' (-3)
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)
ENJOY THE 'BIG' QUESTION
She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5) [Yes, you LOSE points no matter WHAT]
You hesitate in responding (-10)
You reply, "Where?" (-35)
Any other response (-20)
COMMUNICATION
When she wants to talk about a problem , you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression (0)
You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50)
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+500)
She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-10000)
Now what chance do you have???
Salty Coffee
He met her at a party. She was so outstanding, many guys chasing after her, while he was so normal, nobody paid attention to him.
At the end of the party, he invited her to have coffee with him, she was surprised but due to being polite, she promised. They sat in a nice coffee shop, he was too nervous to say anything, she felt uncomfortable, and she thought to herself, “Please, let me go home…”
Suddenly he asked the waiter, “Would you please give me some salt? I’d like to put it in my coffee.” Everybody stared at him, so strange! His face turned red but still, he put the salt in his coffee and drank it. She asked him curiously, “Why you have this hobby?” He replied, “When I was a little boy, I lived near the sea, I liked playing in the sea, I could feel the taste of the sea, just like the taste of the salty coffee. Now every time I have the salty coffee, I always think of my childhood, think of my hometown, I miss my hometown so much, I miss my parents who are still living there.” While saying that tears filled his eyes. She ! was deeply touched. That’s his true feeling, from the bottom of his heart. A man who can tell out his homesickness, he must be a man who loves home, cares about home, has responsibility of home… Then she also started to speak, spoke about her faraway hometown, her childhood, her family.
That was a really nice talk, also a beautiful beginning of their story. They continued to date. She found that actually he was a man who meets all her demands; he had tolerance, was kind hearted, warm, careful.
He was such a good person but she almost missed him! Thanks to his salty coffee! Then the story was just like every beautiful love story, the princess married to the prince, and then they were living the happy life… And, every time she made coffee for him, she put some salt in the coffee, as she knew that’s the way he liked it. After 40 years, he passed away, left her a letter which said,My dearest, please forgive me, forgive my whole life’s lie. This was the only lie I said to you—the salty coffee. Remember the first time we dated? I was so nervous at that time, actually I wanted some sugar, but I said salt. It was hard for me to change so I just went ahead. I never thought that could be the start of our communication! I tried to tell you the truth many times in my life, but I was too afraid to do that, as I have promised not to lie to you for anything… Now I’m dying, I afraid of nothing so I tell you the truth, I don’t like the salty coffee, what a strange bad taste… But I have had the salty coffee for my whole life! Since I knew you, I never feel sorry for anything I do fo! r you. Having you with me is my biggest happiness for my whole life. If I can live for the second time, still want to know you and have you for my whole life, even though I have to drink the salty coffee again.”
Her tears made the letter totally wet. Someday, someone asked her, “What’s the taste of salty coffee?” She replied, “It’s sweet.”
Originally from : Gagan's Blog
Marriage of s/w Pros....
One fine day, Vivek's PL Bhatia asks him whether he has any time for a small meeting. Vivek obviously has time and so the two go to a conference room. Bhatia then clears his throat and says "Vivek, there is an on-site requirement. It is in Covina, Los Angeles. It is for six months. I can suggest your name. Do you have any problems?" Vivek cannot believe his ears. Of course why should any one have problems going to the Sam land. "Of course no Bhatia.. I have no problems." he says.
Bhatia looks at him very kindly and says "You better draw up your personal plans with your wife and let me know in a day or two" That's when Vivek remembers that he has a wife. Then it strikes him that there is a Himalayan problem in front of him. Shobana is working in Wipro. She is in the middle of a project in which she is a module-leader. She cannot leave it all and come to Covina with Vivek. On the other hand it will be cruel on Vivek's part to leave her here and go to Covinafor more than half a year. Moreover, they have just been married. Vivek can stay back. But one day he has to go.. He cannot stay back in India indefinitely. Project requirements are too demanding. Shobana can resign Wipro and accompany Vivek. But what is the guarantee that she would find such a nice job in such a nice company after they come back from Covina? So Shobana and Vivek discuss this issue. They reluctantly agree to get separated for six months.
Vivek hugs Shobana in the airport and says "I will be BACK" in a typical Arnold Scharzegger tone and then boards Delta Airways leaving Shobana in tears. In Covina Vivek gets lots of work and his stay gets extended by two more months. The days and months move very slowly. Vivek starts counting even minutes.
During this period, Shobana's PL Ashish Mehta calls her one day and asks her whether she has any time for a small meeting. Shobana wonders what that meeting is.. They go to the conference room and Mehta tells her about a great on-site requirement in Berlin, Germanyfor their customer. "It is for six months and you are most suited person for this. I am going to suggest your name. Do you have any problems?" Mehta asks her.
Shobana gets excited.. Berlin! She has never been out of India. So she instantly nods her head. Mehta then smiles and says "Okay discuss with your hubby and let me know in a day or two"
One month after that,Vivek comes back to India. Then Shobana calls him almost everyday and they discuss about all petty things on the phone. Shobana applies for a loan to clear her telephone bills. Vivek gets into a new project which is not yet started. His PL Prateek Ray calls him one day and says that he has to go to Toledo Ohio for the requirement analysis of that project. Vivek frantically says no. Shobana is arriving next month. He doesn't want to miss her. But Ray assures him that the work is only for one month and that he would be back before Shobana comes to India. Thus Vivek flies to Toledo Ohio and gets into the requirement analysis of the new project.That's when he comes to know how difficult it is to retrieve information from the users. You can design a system the user wants only when the user knows what he wants. Vivek gets baffled by the questions his users put..
"Do you think I need those fields "GMG_TYPE_HJHJ_TW" and "Auto_level_ind"?What are they by the way?" The requirements analysis stage continues for three full months at this pace. Shobana comes to India one month after that. And she tells her PL that she doesn't want anymore on-site assignments. "I understand" says Mehta and she desperately waits for Vivek to come back to India. It has already been two months over a year since they last met. Vivek then gets the role of an on-site co-coordinator for this customer. He calls Shobana that night and they really don't know what to do. Shobana offers to resign her job and join him in Toledo. But she is getting 21 grand per month in Indiaand Vivek doesn't want to lose that. "Two more months Shobana and I promise I will be back" Shobana retorts back, "There is no solution for this problem." Vivek gets surprised. "What are you talking about?" he asks her. Shobana fights back her tears. "As long as I am in Wipro I will be getting a lot of on-site opportunities. Even if I decline all of them, what about you? You also work for a software company and there you need to go abroad almost once every quarter. I cannot accompany you as you don't want me to resign my job here. Does that mean we have to stay like this forever? Vivek! I love you and I don't know how I spent fifteen months without even seeing you once. I may not recognize you also if you come in front of me now... Tell me Vivek, is there a solution for this problem?" Vivek doesn't speak anything for a moment. He then realizes the truth in her sentences. It is a never ending problem.
But what about the 20 grand she is getting per month?
"Vivek, is money everything? Can't we comfortably live with what you are getting? Please Vivek, try to understand the situation" Shobana breaks down. Vivek is still undecided. He married a software engineer with a hope that with two incomes he would have a good deal of money to plan their future."Let us face the reality, Vivek" Shobana says, "How much are you paying for the phone calls now? More than 20 grand per month. If I am with you there will your phone bill be so astronomical? Just tell me one thing. Won't you be happy having me there with you?" Shobana slowly turns hysterical. Vivek gets into the crux of the situation. It is true. He has been spending around 600 to 700 dollars per month on India calls...that is far more than what Shobana is getting then. He thinks and thinks..for two days he does nothing else but thinking. Finally he decides that he should have Shobana with him all the time from then onwards at any cost.
Shobana gladly prepares the resignation letter and submits it. Her PL smiles and says "You've made the right decision Shobana..
Congratulations for the bold step. I understand your problems. Anyway! you have a three months notice period here, right? We have a one month assignment in Singapore ..."
MORAL : No software professional should marry another software professional.... unless one of them is ready to resign.
I am SE
It was raining heavily outside. Dark clouds gathered in the sky and nature was in its ominous best. I took a break from my work and went to the pantry to grab a cup of coffee. I had a sip and went near the window to see the rain pouring down heavily outside the glass structure. I was inside our huge office building, unruffled by even the fierceness of the nature. Through the heavy transparent glass, I could see a small girl trying to hold on to her umbrella which the wind was snatching away from her. I felt sorry for the girl, and was happy that I was not in a similar pathetic situation. Yes. I take pride for the fact that I am a software engineer. . I have everything which a common man would envy; money, status, respect, you name it I have it. I always wanted to be software professional and here I am, working for one of the best firms in the world. But then, am I really happy? Now, I could see an imprint of my palm on the other glass window, through which I reminisced my past, basked in the warmth of the sun shine.
My childhood was so much of fun. I vividly remember those rainy days, when I hugged my mother tightly during sleeping listening to all the stories told by her. Now, I have a big house here, but then it is just a house, not a home. My parents are pretty far away from me now. I have a cell phone to talk to them everyday, but then I really miss those dinners which I had with my family everyday. I could easily afford to taste all the different cuisines these days, but the best of food there, lack the love and affection which is present in the food prepared by my mother.
I threw a lavish party for my colleagues for my birthday, but then they would never replace the birthdays when my friends secretly brought a cake and at the end, half of the cake would have ended up on my face. The couple of hundred bucks that u save for a long period just to give a treat to your friends in the road side chat shop can never give the pleasure even after spending a few thousand bucks these days.
The scene of me crying and refusing to have dinner on the day when I fought with my best friend came to my mind. Today, she has gone far away from me, taking away my love and with it my life, but I am sitting and coding here with a false smile on my face. Everyday I meet new people, but then I long ceased to make a new friend.
It's true that I have a lot of things now. I have a nice bed, but no time to sleep. Lots of money, but no friends to spend it with. The latest designer clothes, but a worn out body. Quite a few to flirt, but no one to love. Awards for technical excellence, but no reward for the crave for peaceful ambience. A confident demeanor, but a reluctant and apathetic mind. Full of rain, but no sunshine even in the farthest distance.
Now, I could see the small girl on the road enjoying in the rain with her umbrella firmly in her grip. She might not have all the comforts which I have, but then she has the innocence and fun which I lost a long time back. I have decided to come out of this false fantasy, even if it is at the expense of losing the tap of the software engineer. I am going to again enjoy my life. I am going to go out in the rain and play with the small kid now. I removed my tie, and went near my computer to shut it down. Just then, I saw a new mail alert in my mail box. I slowly opened outlook and I found a message from my manager with an attachment saying that there was a critical defect in the code and I have to fix it soon. I convinced myself that I am not going to get bogged down again by these pressures and stick to my decision. I ignored the mail and went to the rest room. After a couple of minutes, the software engineer in me came out, his shirt tucked in with the perfect tie knot, sat before the computer, and started typing,
XYZ,
I am looking into the defect and will send the patch files before EOD.
SE
Dear Friend
Happy Valentines Day. They say "love is eternal, no matter what". Maybe....
Here I'm posting one such love story, in PDF format - 2 parts.
Click on the image to download.
You'll need to install some fonts to read the document properly. Download it here, extract the files and copy-paste in your c:\windows\fonts folder.